I want my kids to actually think that I matter in the world, day to day. Not the grand scheme of how much they love and adore me (because of course that goes without saying, most days), but to actually take a minute and think “Yeah, that Mom lady sure does a lot for this family and for me personally, and I should celebrate her.”
Ok, to be honest, they would probably never think this on their own. But that’s why we have Mother’s Day and my birthday to look forward to every year. I don’t want to write off either one and say “Oh, Mother’s Day doesn’t matter to me.” Maybe it doesn’t and you don’t need to be showered with attention (I actually do), but I think it’s important for my kids to realize that I am important and that I am special, and they should take a beat and show it.
Childhood is fraught with days upon days of being self absorbed. As much as I adored my own Mom, I can only remember her on the periphery of my fun during those early years. My life was about my friends, being outside, my imagination, and my siblings. Sure, my Mom was there for all of it, just like I am, but I don’t remember thinking too much about her role in my life, outside of the feeding, loving, keeping me alive parts.
But my Mom also never wrote off a holiday for herself, or her birthday. She celebrated her role as Mom, and she celebrated herself. She loved and cherished her own interests, hobbies, and passions – and she showed us that she was important. She was a person, and she deserved as much love and respect as she put out.
There is a lot of hype around Mother’s Day celebrations, and the school always comes through with a little special something like a poem or a hand print. And I love that. I think by showing our kids that we too matter in the world, that we are people of substance that deserve respect and a thank you, is essential to eventually raising people who are not self-absorbed. I go out of my way to make every one of their special days are amazing and memory worthy, and I don’t think it is a bad thing to let them do the same for me on their own level.
I want them to think that I matter. And that they matter to me.